You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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