She just used a chaser for red wine.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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