If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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