It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
