White coat. Heels.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
