Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Randomize
