Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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