so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
