Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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