You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
