I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
