i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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