Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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