I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
