I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
