the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
