When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize