she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
