38 yer olds are good kisserssss
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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