How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
