There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dear god my vagina.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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