I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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