Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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