You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one might say we're banned from that church
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
