i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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