one two three fourrrrnication!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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