apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
