I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
