your parents love me but you hate me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
