I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i believe in u and ur pee
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
