I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
