Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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