Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
