You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
A bitchslap is in order.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
