yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
