can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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