I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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