my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
