So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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