how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
