so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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