Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
