I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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