ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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