You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
