Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize