that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
