A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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