So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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