i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
