I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
