ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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