Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
as a side note pls kill me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
