WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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