fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
