just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
