considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish you could order shots online.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
