He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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