im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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