but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
farters have to be the big spoon...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
