I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
