Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
