Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
