There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
