I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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