I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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