Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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