alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
