i think i have two assholes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
