dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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