I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
