It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
